Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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