Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize