i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
