Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
