You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
