I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
