i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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