Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
