dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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