But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
