let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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