"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
