this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I need water and some morals
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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