doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
