D3 body, D1 cock
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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