Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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