you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
