but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
