I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
