I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
