remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
