I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
