The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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