All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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