I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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