The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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