So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
