By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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