The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
