I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
