Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
