He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
