But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize