On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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