omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
