All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
