she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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