why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
