Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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