i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
