I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
