it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
