I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize