This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
