She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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