Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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