He kissed a someone with a penis
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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