how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
