She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
