So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize