I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
