How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
