Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
this just has baby written all over it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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