The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
