Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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