you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
