Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize