dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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