id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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